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Give Them Reason

“If you shout loud enough for long enough, a crowd will gather to see what all the noise is about. It’s the nature of crowds. They don’t stay long, unless you give them reason.” -Michael Cunningham, The Hours

It’s become conventional wisdom that in order to get people excited about the present, you should talk about the future. You should have a vision of where you’re aspiring to go and communicate it in a formal statement.

In fact, just about any business book you pick up will tell you that you need to have a vision statement, so any company that’s done its required reading will have one. And it often develops like this:

A group of senior executives–now known as the “Executive Team”–goes away on an off-site, sits down together, and has a poetry contest. They try to hammer out just the right words and phrases, and they argue for hours–days, sometimes–over the word choices.

“Should we call them customers or clients, are they shareholders or stakeholders, do we have employees or are they associates?”

They tear their hair out, and they threaten, and they fight, and ultimately–at the end of the day–they have created a magnificent document, and they’re so proud.

So, what do they do?

They laminate it on little wallet-sized cards, hand it out to everyone in the organization, and hang a full-color calligraphy version in the reception areas.

And then they stand back and wait for the people to change and the magic–the energy–to happen.

But it doesn’t.

I’m not cynical about vision statements or the workshop processes and dialogue used to create them. In fact, I think those things are valuable because they create a STARTING POINT, not the now-we-can-check-vision-off-our-list END point, which is, unfortunately, how most companies treat them. To paraphrase the quote above, people will gather around to read the vision statement, but they won’t stay, engage and energize around it, until you give them reason.

Workshop-engineered vision statements by themselves don’t generate energy, love does. Great ideas, principles, and values do.

Your own example does.

We’ll explore that next time.

The Extreme Leader’s Mantra

It’s always true, but particularly in these challenging times, you have to find a way to fall in love with your life’s work; otherwise, your energy will wane, your voice will falter, and there will be nothing to prove but the fact that you’re taking up valuable space.

And you certainly won’t be helping to develop and perpetuate the Extreme Leadership approach that our world so desperately needs right now.

I believe that our individual and collective challenge is to live up to this ideal:

Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do.

There are three parts to this mantra:

1. Do what you love: Make sure that your heart’s in your work, and that you’re bringing yourself fully and gratefully into everything you do. If you’re not connected to your own work, you can’t expect to inspire others in theirs.

2.In the service of people: This is what keeps you true, honest, and ethical at the very least. If you’re doing what you love, you’ll make yourself happy, but if that’s all you’re doing, you’re a narcissist, not a leader. Leadership is not only about you; it’s about your impact on others and your ability to help transform things for the better. Ideally, for all of us.

3. Who love what you do: This doesn’t mean that you should only find the people who already love you and just serve them–although it may, in some circumstances. (Have you ever fired a client, for example? I have). Mostly, it means it’s your responsibility to give everyone you serve something significant to love about you and what you’re doing for them.

How close are you to living this ideal? What can you change in order to get closer?

The Romance of Business

If you want your customers to love you (and you should, because if they’re just “satisfied” you’ve lost the game), then take a lesson from your own romantic adventures.

For example, think back to the first date or two with that person you were really crazy about.

I’ll wait.

If you’re a guy, it went something like this:

You really paid attention, didn’t you? You listened intently to her every word; you noticed every detail: what she was wearing, what she ordered for dinner, and what songs she said she liked. And you took volumes of mental notes. You gathered data, and you responded; you acted. You delivered on her expressed desires and guessed at her unarticulated needs and responded to those, too.

So, on the next date, you picked her up in your freshly-washed convertible, but you left the top up, because–even though you loved the feel of the wind whipping through the car–you remembered she told you how long it took her to get her hair just the way she liked it.

At her door, you handed her one red rose–which you’d learned was her favorite flower–and you escorted her on your arm to your waiting chariot.

With me so far?

Then you headed for the opera house, because you knew she loved La Traviata and it happened to be in town–even though last week you thought La Traviata was an Italian restaurant and, frankly, still wished it were. Even though you’d rather see the Rolling Stones for the 20th time, or get your teeth drilled by a very nervous dental student.

But when you saw those tears of operatic exhilaration roll down her cheeks, your joy ultimately came from the knowledge that you had done a very good thing, and from the realization that you had won her heart.

Here’s the punchline:

Relationships in business are won in analogous ways: by paying nearly obsessive attention to the needs, desires, hopes, and aspirations of everyone who touches your business and acting on what you’ve learned before they ask. By knowing not only when to say no and stand firm on principle–there is such a thing as tough love–but also when to sacrifice some of your own short-term needs in order for your clients to be successful in the long run.

And they will love you for it.

Think of a current client, partner, or prospect in light of the Early Romantic Encounter. How are you stacking up?

The Interplay of Love and Fear

“What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire.”
- title of a book of poetry by Charles Bukowski

Having love (see previous post) and doing nothing about it isn’t leadership by anyone’s definition. You have to express it. You have to walk through the fire. And in trying to express love in real, tangible, and meaningful ways, you will experience fear and you will face uncertainty; you will have OS!M after OS!M. That’s the nature of leadership in the extreme: the dynamic interplay of love and fear. Acting out of love creates fear and love gives the courage to work through that fear.

LEAP–the Extreme Leader’s operating system, so to speak–is, in essence, the active, dynamic expression of love: Love generates Energy, inspires Audacity, and requires Proof.

The Extreme Leader consciously and intentionally cultivates love in order to generate boundless energy and inspire courageous audacity. And he or she must provide the proof that it’s all been worthwhile: proof through the alignment between word and action; proof through the standing up for what’s right; proof through measurable, tangible signs of progress; and proof through the experience of phenomenal success as well as glorious failure.

LEAP creates the OS!M, and the OS!M is fear in the pursuit of creating something greater than the current reality. And the desire to create something greater is a bold expression of love.

Simple as that.

Love Of What

Tragically, very few leaders and businesspeople take the time to reflect on why they care about anything they do; why they care about the decisions they make; why they care about their customers and employees; or why they care about their business beyond the paycheck and bottom line.

And even for those that do, the act of “caring,” as important as it is, doesn’t go far enough. Because our real efficacy as leaders–and, I’d argue, all human beings–is rooted, ultimately, in love.

Love of what future we’re trying to create together, love of what principle we’re trying to live out, love of what people I have around me, and love of what they want for their lives. Love of what customers I have, and love of what customers I might have in the future if I’m smarter, faster, and more creative in serving their needs. Love of what impact we can have on the lives of our customers and–if we’re audacious enough–on the world as a whole. Love of what our business really is, and love for what–when we cut away the chaff–we really do every day.

And why is this so critical?

Because if I love who we are, and if I love what we can be, then I’ll love the process of how we get there. And in order to make it all happen, I will act boldly and courageously and I will, at times, fail magnificently. But my love demands that I try.

Demands it.

What can you do to fall in love with something about your work, your colleagues, your team, your clients, your customers and–bottom line–your life?

Feeling Safe? That’s Scary

When necessary, the Extreme Leader will risk his or her own safety and security in order to further the cause, grow the enterprise and–just as important–develop as a human being.

Safety isn’t a bad thing, but we often arrive at it by way of hazard and by learning from every break, scrape, and bruise. Safety often comes through the knowledge gained by having been unsafe.

If the only reason you’re avoiding taking on a challenge is because the idea scares you, then that’s the reason to take it on. That’s the pursuit of the OS!M, and it’s how you know you’re growing as a leader. And the bigger and more important the challenge, the more intense the OS!M.

If you’re using all the buzzwords, reading all the latest books, and holding forth at every meeting on the latest management fads, but you’re not experiencing that visceral churning in your gut, not scaring yourself every day, not feeling that Oh Shit! Moment like clockwork, then you’re not doing anything significant–let alone changing the world–and you’re certainly not leading anyone else.

So…

Where’s your next OS!M going to come from?

Of Leadership, Scars and Human Connection

A leader lives under the microscope. I’m not saying it’s fair or just, but people watch everything the leader does.

Everything.

They watch the body language and facial expressions (Terry Starbucker wrote a great post about this); they listen to the tone of voice; they observe the decisions the leader makes; they listen to the leader’s questions and how they’re asked. Therefore, the most powerful tool a leader has is himself or herself.

Old news, right? Lead by example. Walk your talk. Practice what you preach. We’ve said it thousands of ways in every culture throughout recorded history.

Sure, we all like to set an example that virtually sparkles with success and accomplishment. Who wouldn’t? But most of us miss the opportunity to use our mistakes, failures and vulnerability as examples, too. And that’s too bad, because that’s where the deep learning and connection happens.

Here’s a dirty little secret: you screw up everyday and everyone already knows it. How do I know? Because we all do, just by virtue of being human.

But when you show us, leader, that you can face your own screw-ups, when you can publicly acknowledge that you crashed and burned, when you can–metaphorically speaking–hoist your shirt in front of a hundred people to show us the scar that you earned when you drove off the road or fell off the mountain, we’ll be closer to you as human beings.

And we follow human beings; we don’t follow idealized icons of unattainable perfection.

Too many businesspeople want to appear as invincible. They confuse credibility with perfection and, therefore, would never dream of showing their scars and foibles to their employees. Asking them to do so would be like asking them to chew glass.

Assuming you’re not one of them, let me ask you this:

What have you done lately to show your all-too-human imperfections?

Beyond The Con

Risk is a natural part of the human experience, and we accept it in many areas of our lives without realizing it. But a lot of people who call themselves leaders want things to be easy and painless. They’re either kidding themselves or lying.

Or both.

For many, leadership has become just another buzzword.

We used to go to “management training,” and now we go to “leadership training.” We are team leaders, program leaders, project leaders, thought leaders, market leaders, and cheerleaders. We are political leaders, and we are community leaders. We lead our companies, we lead our schools, we lead our families, and we lead our lives. We have diluted the meaning of leadership to such a profound degree that it’s become just another label.

But leadership is not that easy, so we con ourselves into believing that the word is the same as the action. Yes, “con” is a strong word. But the truth is, we are our own worst con artists if we use safety and security in the same sentence as “leadership.”

The ability to lead doesn’t come from a snappy vocabulary, the books you’ve displayed on your shelves, your place on the organizational chart, or that fashionable title on your business card. Leadership is always substantive and rarely fashionable. It is intensely personal and intrinsically scary, and it requires us to live the ideas we espouse–in irrefutable ways–every day of our lives, up to and beyond the point of fear.

Here’s a good reflection question: Am I willing to scare myself in order to change things for the better?

Your Extreme Leadership opportunity starts with an affirmative answer.

Your Job/My Job

Your job as an Extreme Leader is to help create a culture so vibrant and healthy that when people wake up in the morning and think about the imminent workday, they won’t be overcome with a sense of dread and won’t doubt whether or not they can survive the day.

Instead, they should be filled with hope and the knowledge that they can bring themselves fully into their work and do something cool, something significant, something meaningful.

As a result, your company or team environment will be far more likely to create products and services so compelling as to virtually suck clients in the doors.

What are you doing to build and perpetuate that kind of culture?

Well, I have some ideas for you (that’s my job). Many, in fact. Over the next couple of months, I’m going to extract all the nuggets I can from my published body of work (The Radical Leap, The Radical Edge, Greater Than Yourself) and lay them out bit by bit on this blog several times a week.

So, keep reading, spread the word, and, as usual, I welcome all of your questions, comments, concerns, words of wisdom, and emotional outbursts.